Who the heck is Kirstin?

So for the past couple of months I have been getting calls on my cell phone for someone named Kirstin. The first calls were pretty arbitrary - my phone would ring, from a restricted phone number, and I would pick it up, say hello and hear "Whore, whore, whore WHORE whore" and then a click. After the first one, for which I laughed quite heartidly, I got a couple that referred to someone namd Kirstin. They would say things like "Kirstin, we hate you. You are a slut!" And things to this regard. Before I could reply that they had the wrong number, they would hang up. Because they were always made from a restricted line, I was never able to call them back and explain to them that I'm not Kirstin.

A month or so ago, while I was out for the night, I got a text messages from this same, (I assume) pissed off person blocking her number by making it "restricted" The person was writing to Kirstin, and was telling her that she is so distraught that Kirstin has forgotton the pact they made to be "cool" with each other, and to "b ther 4 me". Instead of just ignoring it, I text back that I am NOT Kirstin.

Then, she texts back to me that not only does she KNOW I am Kirstin, but that she can see me, sitting there with my arm around HER boyfriend, and how do I have the guts to do that??

Again, I reply that I am not Kirstin. I go so far as to say that my name is Liza, and I live in Aberdeen.

To which she comes back with "Yeh, right"

Of course, my phone then dies. And so I go about my evening, enjoying my time with my friends. When I get home and plug it in, I have more text messages from this person, telling me that I am so stupid as to think she'll believe I am someone else. And when I haven't replied, because my phone has been dead, she says "I guess no reply means you don't have anything to say so I must be right!"

I did try to text her back ,but I'm afraid she must have been wasted and passed out, because I never heard back that night.

Things have been quiet on the Kirstin front for a few weeks, until tonight. It is D-Days in Vermillion, and since my phone number is a Vermillion number, as, I am sure, the real Kirstin's is, I assume that someone back in Vermillion decided it was once again time to get ahold of Kirstin. I got a call a little while ago, and from what I can decipher, it sounded like perhaps it was coming from the homosexual pal of Kirstin's arch nemises. He was very emphatic that he wanted to talk to Kirstin, and when I insisted that I was not her, he wanted me to give her a message. He wanted me to tell her that he had called, and they wanted to talk to her. I tried to tell him that I was 26 years old, and that, yes, I had lived in Vermillion, but I had graduated a couple of years ago. He would not be convinced that I was not hiding Kirstin, and even went so far as to say "well, give her a message. Tell her we know this is her number, and she can call me back, my number is... 670 FUZZ 95. " Damn my phone and my horrible reception in my office. I am pretty sure it actually DID fuzz out, and after I heard the 95 I asked him to repeat the number, but he was no longer on the line.

Now, I suppose this could be someone's idea of a prank. But, as far as I can tell, it is pretty much the most asinine prank I have ever encountered. Tell me, please, what the point would be of calling a number you don't know and insisting that the person who picks up is Kirstin? Try as I might, I dont see where that would be funny. I suppose it WOULD be funny to call a random number and say "Whore whore whore, WHORE whore" and hang up. I certianly laughed at that one. But to continue to call a number and insist you are talking to someone? If it is a prank, it is pretty lame. Can you imagine those people? Here they are at their homecoming weekend, and all they can think of to do is to call up this random number and ask for Kirstin? How pathetic.

And so, I am going to say that it isn't a prank. I just can't bear to think of how SAD it would be to know someone actually thought this was funny. I would just feel too sorry for them, and it would actually make me want to cry. So, instead of thinking about the poor, uneducated moron who has nothing better in life to do than to call MY number and ask for Kirstin, I am going to say this.

Here is what I think has happened. I think that this Kirstin has indeed stolen someone's boyfriend, and now she is galavanting all over Vermillion with him, in front of his ex girlfriend and his ex girlfriend's homosexual guy-pal. I think that they are running amuck in the streets, making out all over town, and making sure that Kirstin's boyfriend's ex girlfriend and her pals see them. I think that Kirstin also has a cell phone, and the phone number is probably just one digit away from mine. We got the new 670 cell phones in Vermillion when I was like a sophomore, and I'm pretty sure they gave out all the numbers in order. It would be very easy for someone to have one very close to mine. I believe that Kirstin's boyfriend's ex girlfriend and her homosexual pal have thought that they were being quite sneaky now for several months. I think that they cover their mouths and giggle at the thought of how they have been tormenting Kirstin and she has no idea who has been calling her.

Well, I do have to say that I feel very sorry for Kirstin's boyfriend's ex girlfriend and her pal. All of the work they have been doing, making their phones "restricted", coming up with strong insults such as "whore whore" and trying to figure out new ways of making Kirstin feel terrible for stealing someone's boyfriend have all been for naught. I also feel sorry for Kirstin! She has been going through life thinking that everything is just fine and dandy, not even having a clue that her boyfriend's ex girlfriend and company hate her guts and even go so far as to call her a *gasp!* whore whore whore WHORE whore.

I just can't stand to see such injustice! I know there are plenty of Vermillion people on my friends list, so someone, please! Tell me who Kirstin is! Its not THAT commmon of a name, and a Kirstin who has stolen someone's boyfriend is probably even LESS common! So, do some searching. I'm nearly 4 hours away, so it's not like I can go down to Carey's and call out "Kirstin? Whore? Hello? I have a message for you!". I'm gonna need some help on this one.

For heaven's sake. Happy D-days, everyone.